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Insertion Fayre 1947

Article reprinted by kind permission of The Essex Newsman 3rd September 1947


Finchingfield has a cult following!                


Locals flock to bizarre festival as trouble averted by quick thinking PC

Hundreds of people descended upon the idyllic village of Finchingfield for family fun in the sun this bank holiday, as local eccentrics The Cult of Ffynche held their first Insertion Fayre since the end of hostilities, welcoming home their conquering heroes.

Festivities were ushered in by Fayre committee chairman Silas Marlowe before a colourful display of junior scrunging by local children. Onlookers were held spellbound by displays of expert snipping, enchanted by synchronised sashaying and moved to tears at the mass insertion ritual performed on the war weary veterans -- all good men and true. 

A group of musicians known locally as ‘the Tuesday nighters’ added to the atmosphere with their mellifluous renditions of 'Songs From Across the Pond', before the atmosphere went up a notch for a hotly contested tug of war -- this year won by the hosts who triumphed over local rivals the Cult of Bardfield.

Cult of Ffynche tugging to glory

As the afternoon wore on, emboldened by alcohol and with taunts of ‘ovva-rated!’ ringing in their ears, Bardfield cultists roamed the village green looking for trouble. They found it in the form of PC Jaspar Throbwhistle.

'I’ll not have you lot coming over ‘ere with your strange ways and not trying to fit in with local folk' he was heard to say, echoing the thoughts of a nation. 'I’ve got a squad of men ready to go at a moment’s notice, so think on!'

PC Throbwhistle rushing to liaise with his colleagues stationed at the Red Lion PH

With a public disorder crisis averted, festivities continued in good spirits until the thrilling climax - the Communal Skulk, greeted by the crowd with choruses of ‘ooohs’, ‘aaahs’ and ‘oowayahhs’ throughout the ritual. A wonderful end to a day full of wonder.

The raffle was won by Lily Tiddles aged 4.

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