Cult of Ffynche

Compost heaps hibernate through the winter, but need exercise when spring arrives.

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This challenging ritual is inspired by our twinned communities in Whittlesea and parts of Germany, in which a man dresses in straw and pretends to be a compost heap.

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The Cult of Ffynche, after decades of study, went a step further, and finally trained a genuine compost heap to move under its own steam. 

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For those interested in the Ambulatory Compost Heap, we advise a tincture of gorgonzola to improve mycofibrous strength and behavioural tractability. A misbehaving compost heap has been known to threaten children and small pets.

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Obviously, if the Compost Heap can be led to its horticultural destination, a great deal of backache can be avoided.